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Karl Pilkington Moaning of Life 2

Ten Times Karl Pilkington Has Made Us Roar with Laughter

13th Oct

Karl Pilkington is making his phenomenal return to Sky 1 tonight (13 Oct, 9pm) with The Moaning of Life 2. We've been huge fans of Karl's nonsensical quips as the producer of Ricky Gervais' and Stephen Merchant's XFM show, and his baffling remarks have sent him on a soaring success ever since.

In celebration of his mighty return, here's the top ten times Karl Pilkington has made us laugh until we cry... believe me when I say it was difficult to whittle down the choices.

10. (On jellyfish) "[Jellyfish] are 97% water or something, so how much are they doing? Just give them another 3% and make them water. It's more useful."

9. (On the life of an innuit)"I think some bacteria have better lives than that."

8. (On space)"Neil Armstrong, that spaceman, he went to the moon but he ain't been back. It can't have been that good."

7. (On the Egyptian Pyramids) "I really can't believe what a state the Pyramids are in. I thought they had flat rendered sides, but when you get up close, you see how they are just giant boulders balanced on top of each other, like a massive game of Jenga that has got out of hand."

6. (On being poisoned by an octopus)"I'd kick it, and say "you knob-head"."

5. (On Stephen Merchant)"Like I say, the first time I saw Steve I was never havin' a go, it was just "oh that's different" but you know, Steve, I was never havin' a go, it's just that thing, "oh right, interesting"."

4. (On sex)"You build up to it, don't you? You have that bit of a chat, and you go "alright? How's it going?". You get on an' that and then a little baby pops out."

3. (On biology, from Karl's Diary) "Woke up at 9.55am. Soon as I woke up, I looked at Suzanne and she looked at me. I said, "Did I tell you about the immune system?" Suzanne started laughing, I said it's amazing. She said, "Not now"."

2. (On Aesop's Fables) "That's the problem with them fables, they're putting animals together that wouldn't meet. I don't know where a scorpion is knockin' around with a frog."

1. (On Sleep)"If you don't sleep, you get run down... Sloths never get the flu."

We can't wait to see what Karl will be coming out with tonight!

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